I’m uncovering a new purpose, untangling words in my head that I had never reached before. My true inspiration and hope gives light to what I should be continuing to write about. “Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” Hebrews 13:20-21
Why should I even try?
What good do I have to offer?
What words could I possibly come up with,
What eloquence could I possibly have
That is anything different from what’s
Already been said?
Why would I think that God’s plan for me right now,
is to use my words to be the best light I can be?
When, in fact, there are so many others doing the same thing,
speaking the same truth,
using the same words.
I think these things regularly now, not realizing the damage they do to my purpose and determination. When I sit down and start to write, the words come but never make sense. They never seem to flow in my mind.
I get caught up in using fancy words, things that describe feelings that describe actions. And then I realize I have nothing new to explain.
What I think is astounding is the fact that when I open the bible, and read just a few sentences, I realize how rich these words are. One verse could be talked about for a year, one book for the rest of my life. There is too much in these sentences that could ever make me think, “I have nothing to write about”. Because once I stop trying to think of new angles and concepts alone and start reading from the full word of God, I realize just how incredibly easy it is. To be untangling words and hands from your own mind and reach into the heart of the story, to become wrapped up in the most amazing truth of all time.
I think now, diving into these verses in Hebrews, I see that the most important thing about using my words to be a light is the fact that my own darkness is being exposed. I pour everything out: untangling words onto pages, into posts, onto my computer – and then I look at my mind’s catastrophe through a simple string of letters. My thoughts are untangled, and I am freed. The filling of my mind of the Truth and the pouring out of the promises I keep in my heart frees me.
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